Don't want to mow your lawn?
Apply for status as a wildlife refuge! - Granted!
Apply for Federal Assistance to populate the land with endangered loggerhead turtles! - Granted!
Apply for a special assistance to feed said turtles. Granted!
$10,000 per week Federal assistance from the BLM!
Apply to EPA for research grant to study Loggerhead turtles - Granted!
$3 million dollar annual grant awarded! Woo Woo!
THEN...
Sit back, enjoy and watch the neighbors cut their grass!
And, what the hey! Enjoy a bowl of turtle soup for dinner!
And, what the hey! Enjoy a bowl of turtle soup for dinner!
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